Are you cereal?

I am back home in Harrisburg right now for the holidays and I have been eating a lot of Crispix. I have always liked Crispix but I never really buy it anymore. Growing up it was my favorite cereal because I had an irrational aversion to cereal that was even slightly soggy, and Crispix seemed to survive cold milk better than any other I tried. Sam's Mom found it to be so resilient that she noted one weekday morning, "I even have to let my Crispix sit in the milk for a minute or two so they're not too crispy when I eat them." I think she also came up with the idea of eating half a bowl of cereal, then adding more Crispix, to secure maximum crispness throughout my entire breakfast experience.

So the point is that I have been eating a lot of Crispix lately, maybe because of nostalgia, or maybe because when I opened the cabinet on Monday morning it was the first cereal that I saw. The cereal itself is pretty much exactly how I remember it--a little corny, a little ricey, almost as good as Special K, admirably crispy down to the last bite. Everything, really, about Crispix, is pretty much reminiscent of my childhood, except for one thing: the recipes on the box.

Now, granted, maybe Sam's Mom happened to accidentally buy the two boxes of Crispix with the weirdest recipes I have ever heard. Maybe she had an equal chance of walking into Giant and buying a box of Crispix that had a classic recipe for Crispix Mix jazzed up with crystallized ginger, or Crispix-coated oven-fried chicken--hey, it works for Corn Flakes, even if Crispix looks a little bit like a lichen growing on your chicken drumettes.

But, well, she didn't pick those up. The two boxes she picked up proudly and prominently displayed the following two recipes:

1. Crispix No-Bake Cookies. These consist of Crispix, butterscotch chips, fruit, and nuts bound together with a mixture of butter, corn syrup, and apple juice concentrate. Okay, I mean, I can get behind cereal in cookies, no problem, maybe some crunchy corn flakes or raisin bran in an oatmeal cookie or something. I can get behind no-bake cookies. But, seriously, this is not a cookie; this is a pile of granola. This is a deconstructed parfait. A Fig Newton is more of a cookie than this cookie is. Heidi's flour-free, egg-free, dairy-free, sugar-free cookies are more of a cookie than this is. You could probably make a pretty long list of non-cookie things that resemble a cookie more than this sticky lump of Crispix and pecans.

2. Crispix Wake-Up Casserole. This is a sort of strata/savory bread pudding type of dish, except you take out half the bread and replace it with Crispix. Hokay, so. The flavors--peppers, mustard, fresh basil--sound great. The idea of savory Crispix is fine. Crispix baked into an eggy casserole? What? I do like the idea that it can be baked in individual ramekins and that it can be stored in the refrigerator anywhere from 8 to 24 hours before baking--nothing like surprising your guests in bed with fresh hot individually-portioned Crispix casserole. Okay.

And in doing research to find pictures of these two recipes online, I also discovered:

3. Black Bean Salad with Spicy Crispix Croutons. Just... why? Sam's Mom theorizes that Team Crispix is trying hard to invent the new Rice Krispie Treat. Maybe something as emblematic of the 21st century as Rice Krispie Treats were of the 20th (did you know they were invented in the 1930's?).

You know what? Aim high. That's an admirable goal. I'm not sure Crispouxtons are going to happen though.